validation, redemption & mind games
Yes...more pool...these types of posts will probably be ending soon tho and we'll be back to our regularly scheduled program of mtn biking, mtn biking, mtn biking! :)
Mind games - Competition
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self." - radiohead
I think competition brings out a persons true nature. It strips away all pretense.
Back in the day when I used to play pool I was a different person. I competed with a lot of fear. Fear of looking stupid, fear of letting others down, fear I wasn't good enough, fear that I would never be good enough, fear others would think bad things about me, fear that all that time/practice/energy I was investing wouldn't be enough, fear that I wasn't worthy of winning...fear...fear...fear....
As a result of this I wasn't a pleasant person to be around. Fortunately for me (tho it didn't feel like a good thing at the time) I was totally annihilated in my personal life and had to start all over. Nothing like being truly humbled to realize what is really important in life, eh?
Fast forward to 2009. When I look back at that time(and my former self) i'm slightly embarrassed, a little sad and wryly amused but I also look back at the former me with compassion. I was who I was...it was the only way i knew how to be at that time....
So now I find myself in an interesting place. When I'm competing in pool - I find when I have my opponent (metaphorically speaking) pushed firmly up against the wall - I am holding firmly and not letting them break away but at the same time I feel badly that I have them in that spot. BUT I don't feel bad enough to let up one tiny, eensey-weensy, little bit.
I like that feeling of 'not letting up' & 'not giving an inch' esp since it's not based on fear(yay!) - it's based my love of the game and my love of competition and my desire to do the best I can. If they come back, they break free and win - then they deserved it. Sometimes I'll be sitting on a stool watching my opponent play and think 'if they get out on this rack then they totally deserve it...but if they let me back at the table - they better watch out'. I know i've mentioned it several other times but it feels sooo freeing to not be boxed in by a negative attitude.
which brings me to Saturday
Validation
I was curious on how I would do in Saturday's 8 ball tournament. Now that my 8 ball ranking is a 5 (out of scale of 1 - 7) my competition would be tougher (they start off the tournament putting the players in the same skill level brackets) skill level.
How would I do?
Was I really qualified to be a 5?
Everyone I played as a skill level 4 has complained I was ranked too low - was this really true?
Most players I've talked too don't like being bumped up. would I not like being bumped up?
I was anxious to find out.
Saturday i arrived at the pool hall at 10:30am and left at 9pm. I finished 9th out of 48 players.
I ended up playing 6 matches(scores: 3-4, 4-1, 4-2, 4-1, 4-0, 1-4) with 1 bye. the 4 matches I won I pressed my opponents against the wall and did not let up.
My performance on Saturday was validation that I deserved my ranking.
Redemption
With all that above said - the tournament didn't start off too well for me as I lost my first match 3-4 to a guy named Mike. It was a super close match. I reached the hill first then Mike tied up the match: hill-hill. I thought I had a really good chance to win but then he had a couple of really lucky rolls and he won that last game dispatching me to the losers bracket. A tough place to be so early in a tournament - but there I was.
My next match was a bye that moved me up the bracket and I was in for a 2 hour wait for my next opponent.
My next match I started off playing strong and by the 2nd game I could tell my opponent could tell I was going to win the match. He said 'this will be over soon she's up on me'. I tried not to get ahead of myself and focus on the here-and-now and i won 4-1.
My next match I played a really good player, Michelle. I have a lot of respect for Michelle - I can tell she loves the game and has worked hard at it. She's a very attractive woman about my age with pretty long brown hair - she makes a striking sight as she plays with finesse. I am always nervous playing her because she is so good. It started off neck and neck but I was to pull away and get on the hill - 3-1. She won the next game and said 'ok - all i need to do is get on the hill and then I will feel I got my moneys worth'. I said 'oh...i don't want to let you on the hill because that is a dangerous place for you to be'. And with that I was able to focus and win the match 4-2. whew!
THEN! Remdemption! I got to play Mike (the guy that put me in the losers bracket in the first place) I was determined to not let up one little bit. the match started off poorly as I accidentally knocked the 8ball in early. oops! darn!
oh well...I shook it off and focused. I had some amazing outs and won the next 4 games winning the match 4 - 1. Mike was very complementary on how well I was playing. It was a fun match - actually both matches I played against him were fun.
The next match I was playing above my ability. I couldn't believe the run outs I was making. My opponent just stood there shaking his head. I felt really bad that things weren't working for him but I kept on focusing on the present. I wouldn't let myself even think about how well I was playing - I would just focus on what I had to do and I promised myself I could think about it later. I won 4-zip.
I think I mentally exhausted myself as in the next match - I played well but not to the best or above my ability. My opponent, Neil, was super focused. I had won against him in 2 other tournaments so he knew that I could play. He totally out played me and won 1 - 4.
all-in-all i felt really good about the day and left the pool hall happy. I am in a good spot mentally, I feel I deserve my ranking and I was able to come back with a good performance. it doesn't get much better than that!
Mind games - Competition
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self." - radiohead
I think competition brings out a persons true nature. It strips away all pretense.
Back in the day when I used to play pool I was a different person. I competed with a lot of fear. Fear of looking stupid, fear of letting others down, fear I wasn't good enough, fear that I would never be good enough, fear others would think bad things about me, fear that all that time/practice/energy I was investing wouldn't be enough, fear that I wasn't worthy of winning...fear...fear...fear....
As a result of this I wasn't a pleasant person to be around. Fortunately for me (tho it didn't feel like a good thing at the time) I was totally annihilated in my personal life and had to start all over. Nothing like being truly humbled to realize what is really important in life, eh?
Fast forward to 2009. When I look back at that time(and my former self) i'm slightly embarrassed, a little sad and wryly amused but I also look back at the former me with compassion. I was who I was...it was the only way i knew how to be at that time....
So now I find myself in an interesting place. When I'm competing in pool - I find when I have my opponent (metaphorically speaking) pushed firmly up against the wall - I am holding firmly and not letting them break away but at the same time I feel badly that I have them in that spot. BUT I don't feel bad enough to let up one tiny, eensey-weensy, little bit.
I like that feeling of 'not letting up' & 'not giving an inch' esp since it's not based on fear(yay!) - it's based my love of the game and my love of competition and my desire to do the best I can. If they come back, they break free and win - then they deserved it. Sometimes I'll be sitting on a stool watching my opponent play and think 'if they get out on this rack then they totally deserve it...but if they let me back at the table - they better watch out'. I know i've mentioned it several other times but it feels sooo freeing to not be boxed in by a negative attitude.
which brings me to Saturday
Validation
I was curious on how I would do in Saturday's 8 ball tournament. Now that my 8 ball ranking is a 5 (out of scale of 1 - 7) my competition would be tougher (they start off the tournament putting the players in the same skill level brackets) skill level.
How would I do?
Was I really qualified to be a 5?
Everyone I played as a skill level 4 has complained I was ranked too low - was this really true?
Most players I've talked too don't like being bumped up. would I not like being bumped up?
I was anxious to find out.
Saturday i arrived at the pool hall at 10:30am and left at 9pm. I finished 9th out of 48 players.
I ended up playing 6 matches(scores: 3-4, 4-1, 4-2, 4-1, 4-0, 1-4) with 1 bye. the 4 matches I won I pressed my opponents against the wall and did not let up.
My performance on Saturday was validation that I deserved my ranking.
Redemption
With all that above said - the tournament didn't start off too well for me as I lost my first match 3-4 to a guy named Mike. It was a super close match. I reached the hill first then Mike tied up the match: hill-hill. I thought I had a really good chance to win but then he had a couple of really lucky rolls and he won that last game dispatching me to the losers bracket. A tough place to be so early in a tournament - but there I was.
My next match was a bye that moved me up the bracket and I was in for a 2 hour wait for my next opponent.
My next match I started off playing strong and by the 2nd game I could tell my opponent could tell I was going to win the match. He said 'this will be over soon she's up on me'. I tried not to get ahead of myself and focus on the here-and-now and i won 4-1.
My next match I played a really good player, Michelle. I have a lot of respect for Michelle - I can tell she loves the game and has worked hard at it. She's a very attractive woman about my age with pretty long brown hair - she makes a striking sight as she plays with finesse. I am always nervous playing her because she is so good. It started off neck and neck but I was to pull away and get on the hill - 3-1. She won the next game and said 'ok - all i need to do is get on the hill and then I will feel I got my moneys worth'. I said 'oh...i don't want to let you on the hill because that is a dangerous place for you to be'. And with that I was able to focus and win the match 4-2. whew!
THEN! Remdemption! I got to play Mike (the guy that put me in the losers bracket in the first place) I was determined to not let up one little bit. the match started off poorly as I accidentally knocked the 8ball in early. oops! darn!
oh well...I shook it off and focused. I had some amazing outs and won the next 4 games winning the match 4 - 1. Mike was very complementary on how well I was playing. It was a fun match - actually both matches I played against him were fun.
The next match I was playing above my ability. I couldn't believe the run outs I was making. My opponent just stood there shaking his head. I felt really bad that things weren't working for him but I kept on focusing on the present. I wouldn't let myself even think about how well I was playing - I would just focus on what I had to do and I promised myself I could think about it later. I won 4-zip.
I think I mentally exhausted myself as in the next match - I played well but not to the best or above my ability. My opponent, Neil, was super focused. I had won against him in 2 other tournaments so he knew that I could play. He totally out played me and won 1 - 4.
all-in-all i felt really good about the day and left the pool hall happy. I am in a good spot mentally, I feel I deserve my ranking and I was able to come back with a good performance. it doesn't get much better than that!
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